yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize