Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
