bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin