I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?