I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.