Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
50% drunk capacity currently
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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