When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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