I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
