I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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