would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
