I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
