so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
