Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
