if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
