I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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