2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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