now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You are a genius and a whore.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
