By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
