I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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