Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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