His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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