Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
