I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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