I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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