is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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