I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
