At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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