Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
