Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
