I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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