i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
