called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
