thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
