he puts the penis in happiness.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
