sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My feet surprised me
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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