i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
