is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
