Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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