Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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