I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.