I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?