Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories