O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
