...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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