soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
