if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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