Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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