She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
