I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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