Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
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A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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