i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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