you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
