before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
