he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
