1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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