There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize