I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize