He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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