Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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