guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
