the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
