Please don't use social media to get back at me.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
this is an emotional support booty call
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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