I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
